The american social contract
It is so easy to get caught up in the “have-tos.” My entire life I was told things like, “this is life,” “that’s how it is,” “everybody must do it,” and on and on and on with the American social contract: get up, go to school/work, vote, contribute to the economy, wish for something more, repeat, then die.
Sounds morbid, doesn’t it?
Until a few months ago, I was telling my daughter these same lies every morning.
Then I woke up one morning and asked myself, “What am I doing with my life?”
I bought in hard to the social contract. I went to school, I got good grades, I started working at 12 years old and became obsessed with working more and more and more. It made me feel valued and like I belonged somewhere. It gave me validation. However, there was always this niggling in the back of my mind, “Is there more to life?”
My poor parents. I would pack up my things and move somewhere new: New York, Hawaii, Arizona, Miami . . . just floating around to see where life would take me. In all those moments, I still allowed myself to be chastised for dancing outside the social contract. All my friends were getting married, buying houses, and having babies. I would stare at the ceiling and wonder why those things weren’t happening for me.
I thought that I had to buy into the contract. I thought that was the “right” thing. So, at age 31, I stopped galivanting and took the corporate job.
Now, at 45, at what I thought was a pinnacle in my career, I am burning down the so-called “right thing,” torching the American social contract, and I’m following the purpose God intended for me all along.
Looking back over my life, opportunities to walk fully in my purpose were handed to me at 15, 22, 24, 33 and 40. Instead of being courageous, I retreated into addictions and situations that felt secure rather than right.
However, God’s timing is always perfect. Here I am, finally.
I am happy. I am living my purpose.
My days are not perfect, but you know what. I have faith that everything I’m going through right now is the path. As Buddah says, “Happiness is the path.”
There are people in my life right now that want to tear me down. People that I trusted—for years. I’ll be honest, it is hard not to get angry. It is hard not to be vengeful. The thing that keeps me calm and happy is that I know all the things that they are doing are not about me. It’s about them. If I play into it, it will steal my joy and all my energy.
THE QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK
So, dear friend, if you made it this far down the page—what’s life like for you?
Are you waking up happy?
Are you chasing your purpose or security?
Are you living as your authentic self?
Are you allowing the people and things around you to steal your energy?
These are hard questions, but each one is worth asking every. single. moment. Until you can say:
“I will not give my energy to that thought or situation.” (Rewiring your brain to stop negative self-talk, gossip, and rumination.)
“Yes, I am my authentic self.”
“Yes, I am living my purpose.”
“Yes, I am happy.”
There is work involved.
For most, it does not happen overnight, but every bit of work is worth it.
It has taken me a year to get here.
A year of intense work: emotional toiling, self-reflection, anger, frustration, grief, depression, sadness, and fear. All of that has turned into courage, confidence, faith, and happiness.
And for the rest of my life, I will do the work because God intends for me to grow and evolve in my purpose—all I must do is listen.
You can make it that simple too.
ARE YOU READY TO BE HAPPY?
Are you ready to step into the brave new world of loving life? Are you ready to do the work? Then I invite you to become part of The Happy Life Agenda. Step one, sign up for the eNewsletter. Step two, subscribe to the podcast. And, finally, contact me, Dani Cee to start the process of becoming your most authentic self.
