The value of the Family unit is crumbling
The rise of the two-income household has paved the way for what some might call “lopsided equality” among women and a decline in family connection. Rates of mental illness (5,6) including an epidemic of anxiety, as well as increases in obesity,1,2 and divorce (3,4) have all occurred. Does this mean that women shouldn’t work outside the home? Absolutely not. Americans should be fighting for a societal model that values the unpaid labor of raising a family, nurturing humans, and creating connection while also accommodating female work outside the home. Women are innately equipped with the capabilities to execute on the pillars of human connection, but without value and support (7), these foundational elements of a thriving society crumble.
This begs the question, what is the solution?
A Broken System
When you sit back and look at the systems of modern society, you can see that the highest value is placed on the people and efforts that make the most money—at all costs. Though social media might make it seem like there is a focus on mental health and “taking a break,” the truth is that the only people that seem to be capable of pushing for their mental health breaks are the one percent with inflated bank accounts that allow time off from a tour schedule or long sabbaticals between jobs.
What about the single parent working two jobs to pay for childcare and using whatever sliver of money is left to put food on the table and gas in the car? What about his or her mental health break?
What about the child that walks home alone to an empty house after school and must fend for his or herself until long after dark only to wake up and be rushed out the door as mom and/or dad head to work again, another 24 hours with barely a word uttered among the family unit?
What about the research that shows home cooked meals and family meals around the dinner table reduce rates of obesity (8-10), foster communication, and reduce mental health risks (10) as kids age? How can these meals happen if long commutes and that “always on” mentality pervade?
Millions of people are facing burnout (11).
Kids are being raised by daycare and YouTube.
Autoimmune diseases (12), mental health conditions (13), and obesity (14) are rampant.
The mantra of American life is “live to work,” rather than “work to live.”
Asking the Wrong Question
In the COVID era, it was proven that companies could remain highly productive with a remote business model (15, 16). The post-COVID era showed that hybrid models can be effective for restoring connection and collaboration in the workplace while still allowing for the flexibility and focus of remote work.
Yet in the earliest days of 2025, large organizations are forcing employees to return to the office five days a week, where they can keep a watchful eye to ensure productivity. Smaller organizations are following suit because if these heavy hitters of industry are doing it, it must be right.
This requirement has many people weighing the cost of childcare against leaving the workforce—an option only some people have, especially when you consider housing, gas, and food prices. The two-earner household has become essential to survival.
The crusade against a return to the office boasts headlines touting the exorbitant cost of childcare. However, the staggering statistics suggest that we should stop asking, “how can I better afford childcare so I can work more?” and instead ask, “how can I support my family and give quality time and attention to my children, family, and neighbors?”
Why is human connection not valued?
Why is nurturing a family such a low priority?
Why are we all rushing so fast to make money to buy more things?
Why do we want to vacation with a phone in hand and one eye on the email inbox?
Why is the solution to these problems to outsource precious time with our children?
We have created a society that places value on the status of monetary wealth and there is a belief that the more you work, the more money you will have and the happier you will be.
It’s all lies.
Yet, we buy into the system that tells us that we must do as we are told—listen to your boss. Sit in the chair, complete the project, commute home, work some more, eat over the kitchen sink or from the drive-through, go to bed, and do it all over again tomorrow.
What if we all said no to this system?
Studies Show
Countless studies have proven that the 40-hour, five-day work week is not a productive model (17, 18). In fact, it dates back to the days of Henry Ford. The factory model of work (everyone does exactly what they are told) goes all the way back to the 1700s–long before email, smartphones, and Zoom calls could keep everyone tethered to the workplace 24/7.
The hybrid model of work that has evolved—one foot squarely in the 1700s and the other teetering between the 1990s and 2021—has workers highly dissatisfied. A recent Gall-up survey showed that more than 50 percent of employees are dissatisfied with their work. The central source of distress? Inconsistent work schedules and environments that create an “always on,” mentality.
Big surprise.
How do we create change? I’m so glad you asked.
Create a Better Society
This mission began as a spark. My daughter said to me, “You’re always working! I just want to be with you.”
My heart ached—it took 10 years to be blessed with my daughter. However, the response when I relayed the story to friends and family was “yeah, mom guilt is real,” “it is what it it,” and “that’s life.”
Wait.
“Life” is working and not spending time with people who matter the most?
“Life” is outsourcing the care of my child so I can work more and then die?
Sounds extreme, but hear me out.
All that work and I can’t take any of what that money buys with me and, yet, on my deathbed, I will have wasted all my time at work and regret all the moments I didn’t spend with my daughter, my husband, my mom, my dad, my grandparents. . . .
When I began to have conversations with other women—some of whom I see frequently and others of whom I see on occasion—the conversations all seemed to have one thing in common: We, as women, were all seeking to spend more quality time with our children, spouses, and family but also contributing to the economic status of our family and the fulfilment of work outside the home.
My thoughts weren’t unique—we are all a slave to a broken system. And, if that many people feel that way—it is time to change.
Organizations are powerhouses of society with the ability to change the whole operation.
However, most are managed from a vantage point of domination and control: trying to control outcomes by controlling people and their output. You know, the factory model.
This stifles enthusiasm. This stifles innovation. This stifles the best workers doing their best work.
Oh and, guess what? It influences the school system that in its current state produces factory workers and also stifles creativity and innovation.
What if organizations sought skills over degrees? Would our school system shift away from producing “factory workers” who put people in boxes and literally “teach” the creativity out of them?
What if organizations created work hours and spaces to support the family unit and still leverage the value masculine and feminine mind on a team? Would productivity and innovation expand?
What if organizations designed systems and processes for accountability that also foster flow states, so workers get focus time and collaboration time that ultimately yields greater output and employee satisfaction?
There is a low volume of trust and empowerment. The people at the top believe that the people at the bottom either can’t or won’t “do it right,” without looming over them. The people at the top often fear talent and being surpassed. However, what if we recognized that a) one person can’t “do it all,” and b) it takes a team: connection, conversations, and collaboration to generate the best output. No one is doing any of it alone (despite what anyone might say).
Nobel prize winners come from countries where human connection and conversation are significant parts of any workday—not toiling alone over a desk.
People who change the world are not sitting alone in front of a computer—they are among people, having conversations, engaging, and absorbing insights.
Change happens when people rally against a system. Being first to advocate is hard, but someone—make that several people—must stand up and ask for the change.
Ask for Change
Are you in? Click “I’m in!” below. Fill out this form and put “I’m in!” in the message box (or feel free to tell me more).
You can be a guest on my podcast (or if you’re camera shy, a phone interview and blog feature), and let’s talk about this! What are your thoughts and ideas for action? Do you own or work for a company that is valuing family and a balanced life? Are you a woman that is currently in the midst of all this too—start telling your story and let’s work through this together.
The Happy Life Agenda is real conversations with real women asking for the change this world needs. If you’re in, click below and chat with me.
- The Effects of Female Labor Force Participation on Obesity https://www.irp.wisc.edu/resource/the-effects-of-female-labor-force-participation-on-obesity
- A Developmental Perspective on the Link Between Parents’ Employment and Children’s Obesity https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6371798
- Divorce and female labor force participation: Evidence from times-series data and cointegration https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02299436#Abs1
- Women’s Labor Force Participation and Probability of Getting Divorced https://mpra.ub.uni-muenchen.de/90561/1/MPRA_paper_90561.pdf
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10786006
- Maternal Labor Force Participation During the Child’s First Year and Later Separation Anxiety Symptoms https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10901981231188137
- The role of the workplace in supporting positive and gender-responsive parenting https://www.unicef.org/eap/blog/role-workplace-supporting-positive-and-gender-responsive-parenting
- The Protective Role of Family Meals for Youth Obesity: 10-year Longitudinal Associations https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4308550/
- How Family Dynamics at the Dinner Table Affect Kids’ Weight https://time.com/3487457/family-dinner-weight-obesity/
- Barriers to Healthy Family Dinners and Preventing Child Obesity: Focus Group Discussions with Parents of 5-to-8-Year-Old Children https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10297414/
- American workforce burnout reaches tipping point https://newsroom.aflac.com/2024-11-12-American-workforce-burnout-reaches-tipping-point
- A Major Health Crisis: The Alarming Rise of Autoimmune Disease https://nationalhealthcouncil.org/blog/a-major-health-crisis-the-alarming-rise-of-autoimmune-disease/
- Protecting the Nation’s Mental Health https://www.cdc.gov/mental-health/about/what-cdc-is-doing.html
- Study Finds Nearly 75% of Adults 25 and Older Have Overweight or Obesity https://www.pharmacytimes.com/view/study-finds-nearly-75-of-adults-25-and-older-have-overweight-or-obesity
- Remote Work Stable at a Higher Rate Post Pandemic https://news.gallup.com/poll/510785/remote-work-stable-higher-rate-post-pandemic.aspx
- Are Remote Workers More Productive? That’s the Wrong Question https://stackoverflow.blog/2023/11/27/are-remote-workers-more-productive-that-s-the-wrong-question/
- Today’s Industrial Revolution Calls for an Organization to Match https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/operations/our-insights/todays-industrial-revolution-calls-for-an-organization-to-match
- What American Factory Says about Productivity, Management, and Culture https://cmr.berkeley.edu/2019/12/american-factory/
